A private blog for Victor Navone's "Intro to Animation" and "Advanced Animation Critique" class at the Animation Collaborative, summer 2015 session.
Hi Holiday, here are some notesShot #1 - you've made a lot of progress on this and it's working better than it ever has. It's still not clear enough, though, and you're still not showing her think BEFORE she acts. The acting beats are happening right on the dialog, which makes them feel rehearsed. For example, she says "I'm" at the same time as she looks down. I want to see her start the sentence, then lose confidence and look down. I want to see the fake smile start on her face BEFORE she says "beautiful". The emotion should change before the body moves or mouth speaks. Her blink around frame 58 feels like a 'take' because of the speed and the bounce in the body. Take out the body bounce and focus on the timing of the blink. Could she hold it closed longer because she is anxious? What if she did a double blink or eye flutter? I hope you are working from some video reference. This is a very difficult scene you've chosen to animate, and I feel like you might be trying to move ahead too quickly. I like your ideas, but I feel like you are not ready to execute them yet, so I think you should focus on a simpler acting shot, like shot #2, and come back to this one later. Shot #2 - I like what you've added in the beginning - it looks like she's gathering the courage to speak her heart. The rest of her thought process is not clear yet. I see you've added a little head shaking during the pause, but it's so small I almost missed it. I see an anticipation happen in the brows around 60, but then her attitude does not change. There is no difference in her final expression, no sense of relief or vulnerability. You could put a little worry into her eyes and brows on the final expression to show that she is taking a risk.I hope these notes are helpful. Keep working hard!-v